Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Cookie Crisp

My ex girlfriend accused me of being a 'cheater cheater pumpkin eater' and I was offended. Obviously I cheated but I would never eat pumpkin. It is mushy and gross and when you see that wretched colour on a traffic light it means only proceed if you really have to. I'll tell you what I do like though, having someone vacuum my room for me. And Cookie Crisp! I'm guessing someone was dipping a cookie in milk and the whole thing fell in and they ate it anyway and it was delicious and the rest is history. And if that was the kind of history I was taught in school then I would of listened instead of cutting off Matthew Pearce's hair just because he looked like one of those fags that sung 'mmm bop'.

4.5 stars.

Frosted Mini Spooners

To date I've had no luck whatsoever getting on television, and if something doesn't change soon I think I'll have to rape a Gleek and settle for being on Conviction kitchen. Anyway, I didn't even have to see this on TV to know it would be neat, they let you see right in like a cool as hell neighbour who does his lady on the couch and leaves the blinds wide open for your teenage penis to get erect to. Fuck knows what a Spooner is but I'm all for it.

4 stars.

Corn Flakes

Unemployment has left me searching for cereals that have been marked down, which I think you'll find is the only con of not having a job. Corn Flakes is a staple for many people in the morning and that makes about as much sense to me as that movie Mullholland Drive. Or Emile Heskey ever getting paid to play football.

1 star.